Basic Manifesto

On my friend Geoff's refrigerator is a recipe from the 1970's for something called "SPAM Italiano." It consists of alternating strata of SPAM and mozzarella cheese, baked to a gooey state and topped with a sauce made from ketchup and dried oregano. Serve with Quaaludes. This was a marvel of the times: a perfect blend of masochism and brown. The, then middle aged, survivors of WWII simply wanted to enjoy the good life, the easy life. They were untroubled by something that would give Mussolini's army PTSD. Though the recipe on the fridge is a joke to us, at one time it was an earnest attempt at dining pleasure. Earnestness fades to embarrassment and irony. As the coke(and SPAM) fueled orgies of the seventies faded into AIDS and arteriosclerosis, one becomes afraid of one's own thoughts on "what is right." Am I doomed to seem silly in a future I don't understand? Will I lose my sense of self? We shall see.

To cook good food the rules are simple:
1. Use the best ingredients you can afford. If you don't have the money to buy good quality veggies and grains, free-range eggs, and fats, you have a few options: Get food-stamps, get some friends or grow your own. This is rule number one because it is rule number one. Do not break it.
2. Experiment and screw up. I can cook some tasty treats, but I've also made foods so revolting that friends have never spoken to me again. I've cooked things that were so hot that girls and boys cried for the pain to end, for death's gentle hand to soothe their suffering. These cries were in vain--life went on. I've made sauces that curdled and curds that softened. Out of the darkness comes light. Failure is the best way to learn. Other cliches as well.
3. You have my permission to make things you think you can't. Never made a samosa? Go make one, I give you my permission.
4. Respect chefs. I have no formal culinary training. I'd like some, but it's not in the cards right now. That being said, I don't think I'm a chef. I'm a decent-to-good cook. I know some chefs and they are brilliant. They have special knowledge. One day, maybe I will too. If a real chef tells you something, they are probably right. People who think they are something they're not get eaten by bears.
5. Get good equipment. I buy super expensive pots and pans and things at super cheap prices. Go to used restaurant supply stores. Go to those stores that sell things that the other stores didn't. Don't buy plastic anything (except for food grade containers).
6. Take time to do it right. Don't cut corners or be afraid to double check. Don't be lazy.
7. Cooking is fun and the number one way to make friends and get laid. If you don't like to cook, be an appreciator instead. I have weak math skills, but I still like to read about physics.